On what basis can one determine the quality of a relationship with another person? (and I’m not just talking about romantic relationships) At what point can it be decided that one truly knows others for who they really are?
I find myself often fooled into believing that one relationship or another is deeper than it really is. I enjoy conversations in which each person feels the freedom to be vulnerable with whatever thoughts are being processed about faith, struggles, victories, ambitions, fears and basically… LIFE! I like to affectionately call these “coffee shop” conversations. I am so grateful that I have been blessed with people in my life with whom I can have such conversations. They are so valuable.
But these conversations, as revealing as they may be on their own, cannot lead me to a conclusive knowledge of the other person. Even after a myriad of these coffee shop conversations over a period of time, I have discovered that I still may not actually know the other person.
Coffee shop conversations can be so deceptive and idealistic. It can be easy to make observations about the world in which we live and to discuss all kinds of grand ideas about how to make this world a better place. It can be easy to say that we believe in this or that or that we place our hope here or there. It can be easy to discuss how we want to one day become one way or another. The danger is that we base our understanding of one another solely on these types of conversations because they do not necessarily reveal who we are in the present. These coffee shop conversations are typically beneficial to the extent that they are informative in knowledge about the other person. We need more context. Without knowing the other person outside of these conversations, the risk of filling in the blanks with incorrect understanding increases.
It seems to me that the most effective way to truly know another person is by living life together in multiple settings and situations. There are aspects that will never be seen unless drawn out by other people and other settings. These cannot necessarily be discovered over a cup of coffee.
The beauty of people is the fact that we are so multifaceted. All of our unique characteristics and quirks should have the opportunity to be discovered and celebrated, not just talked about.
anothervapor 
The limitation in the communication (and thus the relationship) is, perhaps, the lack of both quality and diversity of the context (the coffee shop) of the communication. Fundamentally, coffee shops are a diversion from life, certainly not a structural part of it.,